Her name turned out to be Robbie

Day 6 of writing 101

I’ve seen her quite a few times before but she never caught my attention until today. I can be very shy at times. I am not one to just talk to anyone I meet walking down the street, or strolling in a store, or flying through a waiting room.  She flew by once, twice, three times before I said something.  “You really need to think about slowing down a bit. You are speeding through here like a freight train.” She slowed down just long enough to respond.

“Yes” she relied with a big grin, “I do appear to be stuck in fast forward today. I have so much to get done.”

“Hey.” I replied with the devilish grin I reserved for the best of times. “Just be grateful dealing with me is not on your list of things to do today.”.

“Not a good day?” she inquired.

“I’ve had better.” I responded still trying to smile.

“Well I hope it all works out,” she said as she flew past again. She appeared to be hurried, but not panic like. Almost like she had extra energy that needed to be burned up. I felt jealousy slowly creep through my body. I want to feel that kind of energy again. I use to feel it. I miss it. There was something in her eyes that I could not identify during this first encounter. It did seem familiar. Eventually, in time, I would learn what it was.

This was the same day my therapist told me she would be gone for another 2 weeks.  Damn, I thought to myself, she just got back from Italy. I needed to decide if I wanted a replacement person for those weeks or just someone who’s available for me to call if I need it.  I thought about the uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts and feelings I had been experiencing lately.  I was also seeing my therapist almost twice a week. This was so not the time for me to be skipping a few weeks of therapy.

It was best that I go with the replacement therapist, just in case, but only if I get to pick who I see. I am a firm believer that one tends to get what they need.  Maybe I spoke to this “woman in flight” out of the blue for a reason? I went with my gut, I asked about her.

I learned that what I saw in this woman’s eyes was something I once recognized in myself. It was fun, joy, cheer, love of life. My therapist assured me I would laugh if I met with this woman, who I now know is named Robbie.

I only saw her twice, but we talked about everything. Dogs, OCD, stress, horses, conversion disorder, outlooks on life, laughter therapy, doctors, diagnosis, husbands, SIB, depression, showers, anxiety, beer, medication, and so on. We smiled and laughed about most of it. I have never talked that easily with someone I just met, NEVER, EVER.  I came close to a life crisis while my regular therapist was gone and this woman helped me though it. The last thing she said to me was, “you are a very interesting woman.” I think that is a good thing?

I’ve seen her again. Always in passing. We’ve had brief conversations, like, “Hi, How are you?” “your boots make as much noise as mine.” “How is your dog doing?” “You still move really, really fast.”  Circumstances have arisen where I may switch to her as my therapist.  I do not know at this time.  I am going to try and believe that whatever happens is meant to happen. Yes I would like to see what I can learn from her as a therapist, but I will be happy with what I get when seeing her fly by.

She remains the same as when I first truly noticed her.  A very busy person with eyes that smile.