No, I did not do last weeks OTT .
I did not forget.
In fact, I thought about it a lot.
I just didn’t do it. So there….
I did work on a draft called
Driving Lessons, but it needs much more work and a lot more editing. I will post it when I am completely and totally satisfied with what I end up with. I have found that if I just sit down and write, things flow quicker, better, a bit easier. I am better off not thinking when I write. There is always time to edit so it makes a bit of sense later. So, I am sitting and working on today’s OTT. Not thinking, just doing. Obsessive Thought Thursday for those who don’t remember or never knew. Trying not to think about obsessive thoughts while writing about obsessive thoughts can be tricky. I have faith in my ability to handle it.
An intrusive thought is an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate.
Okay,,,,What do you call those intrusive thoughts that are an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or idea that starts as pleasant? Some of my intrusive thoughts are not specifically unpleasant until they become obsessive. Like yesterday I had the thought that I had to get pictures of some flowers before they disappeared. I considered it an intrusive thought because I was busy with something else and didn’t have the time to take a picture. Not stopping what I was doing to take a picture, and the thought would take over my brain until I could not stand it anymore. I would be unable to concentrate on anything but those damn flowers. Taking a picture would have helped this thought leave my brain. Noticing pretty purple flowers is a pleasant thought, until it becomes an unpleasant obsessive thought.
Luckily, I have a lifetime of experience with intrusive thoughts. My experience is that if I deal with them head on, acknowledge them, talk about them, write about them, take some sort of appropriate action, they may go away. Medication helps too. Odd, as I write this I came to the realization that another thought I have been experiencing lately might be nothing more than a regular intrusive thought (according to the description I found). One of the unpleasant ones though.
Now I wonder, what came first? The chicken, the egg, OCD, MDD, GAD???? I am pretty sure it was the chicken. This recent unpleasant, unrelenting, intrusive thought might not be the reemergence of depression. As I initially thought. It just might be the OCD kicking up a bit.
So, where does that leave us???? With the knowledge that by writing, talking, sharing, expressing, feeling, etc. I will be okay. Now that I really think about it or not think about it, maybe intrusive thoughts for me are not truly intrusive until they become obsessive. Just a thought.
Damn, another thought. Should someone with diagnosed OCD even be writing? Never mind writing about OCD, writing in itself can become obsessive. I can hear my husband’s voice in my head, “Just freakin’ hit Publish!!!!”