We were raised different therefore are different. We have had different life experiences yet we feel so much of the same things. We both feel things intensely. We think different. We deal with things differently. Maybe this will make more sense when I am done writing and you are done reading what I wrote.
“Hey Ma, how are ya doing today?”
“I’m okay. Kind of tired and in a bit of pain, but okay for the most part.”
“That’s good to hear I guess.” I said as I glanced around her small dark apartment. “You need to turn some lights on. It is dark and depressing in here.”
“It doesn’t seem that dark to me.” she quietly replied.
“Well I guess, I did just come in from the bright sun, maybe that is it? What’s this stuff?” I asked as I grabbed the bottle from her table.”Stress relief?”
“I just ordered that. I had to renew my membership, but it was worth it.”
“Do they work?”
“I take them when I know I am going to feel anxious. If I have to do something that makes me nervous, I take some. They seem to make a difference. I don’t feel nervous”
“How many do you have to take?”
“The label says four at a time, but I take three.”
“Didn’t your doctor give you Ativan like mine did?”.
“Yes, I tried them. I was afraid to take them and they didn’t really help. I just felt nervous and tired, and I couldn’t drive.”
“My doctor finally just convinced me to take 2 a day. He’s been suggesting it for over a year. You are right though. If I take more than 1, I cannot drive. I have proven that to myself more than once.”
“This is from the same company we used years ago. I found them online.”
“I remember taking herbs from them before. I was never completely convinced they helped, but I did go without real medication for a long time.”
“They aren’t cheap, but are worth the money.”
“I take two different meds to help with my anxiety. One of which can be wicked addictive. I think they cost me $1.20 for the copays.”
“That is a lot cheaper, but I like my herbs. You know I like my herbs.”
“Yea, I remember when you first went to the kinesiology guy. He so got you so hooked on his herbs and supplements.”
“Yes, but he got me hooked on herbs that help. I feel so much better than when I tried medication. Plus, they weren’t ‘his’ herbs. he was just a distributor.”
“That is wicked cool that you found something that helps. I was hoping you’d get help with the nervousness.”
“You should take a bottle with you. You could try it?”
“Do you have more?” I asked, knowing she probably had ten.
“I think I bought like 6 bottles.”
“Well then, I guess if I take half a bottle, you won’t risk running out.”
I took my Mom’s stress herbs the next day. I felt just as calm if not calmer than when I took Ativan. If I had money like I use to, I would definitely go the herbal route again. Maybe someday herbal supplements will be covered by health insurance just like the highly addictive medication I take. Herbal crap can have the same if not better results.