figured something out????

When I first started this blog, I had no idea what to do or where to go with it.  All I knew was that I felt better when I wrote shit down.

Here we are roughly 6 months later….

  1. I have taken blogging101
  2. writing101 came next
  3. then Photo101
  4. then Life got in the way

I became obsessive over completing Blogging101.  See my history and you might understand why.  I learned so much from this course.  I was wicked new to blogging and I was learning stuff that a woman of my age should know.   widgets, image widgets, feature, Know your audience, INSPIRATION…. COMMUNITY!!!!

I did not expect or have any clue that starting a blog came with such a fantastic community.  I am very grateful I was led to WordPress.  Yes Lily Pup you are to blame for that.

After Blogging101 came Writing101.  I am proud to say I did well with this class.  The obsession I had during Blogging101 was not present.  Damnitall.  I read a blog post recently where the writer talks about swearing, I’ve been swearing ever since.  It is part of my Distinct Voice, which I also learned about in writing101. I learned so much more than I could have ever anticipated.

Writing 101 is where I received my first bit of criticism.  Maybe it was Blogging 101? It truly does not matter now.  The assignment was to write about your home.  I requested constructive criticism and I got it.  It basically said, “show me, Don’t tell me.”  Funny how one of the very next assignments was “Show me, Don’t tell me.” 

Russell J. Fellows on April 8, 2015 at 8:56 am said:

What a peaceful sounding place. I think I’ve told many people the same thing, but I want to tell you also: be more immersive in this writing. You have a lot of good description to work with, but I want to experience it through your eyes, not just through you telling me what is what. Instead of “The entrance to where I am is like a dirt road that leads you through a tunnel…” say “A road of dirt and rock leads you through a tunnel of beeches and oaks to a clearing…” or something like that. Does that make sense?

Then came Photo 101. Another great WordPress offering. I have yet to finish this course, but I have many great excuses. Life stuff took over for a while and I was unable to keep focused on learning about photography.  I still have hopes to finish this class, but will do so in my own time.

I have also been unable to keep up with my weekly feature OTT.  I have decided none of this matters.  What matters is that Today, I am doing every thing in my power to be okay.  My goal today and every day is to beat depression.  When my head tells me I am better off staying in my pajamas, I get in my clothes and do something.  When it tells me, “you don’t need a shower today”, I go out, get extra dirty, have fun doing it, and have no choice but to shower.  When someone who counts asks me How I am, I tell them the truth.  I have chosen to take the word “FINE” out of my vocabulary.

When my therapist suggested I leave little notes around my house that simply say “BREATHE”, I listened.  Now my house has little notes everywhere reminding me to breathe.  Breathing is such a simple thing to do, yet so very difficult when I need it most.  I have also learned along the way that deep breathing helps with so much more than just anxiety.  Provided I remember to do it.  The more I do it the easier it is to remember.  Everything takes practice.

So, take a minute. Stop. Just breathe. and don’t forget your blog

Duh. I almost forgot to mention what it was I may have figured out?  If blogging has rules, I do not think I can follow them. I am okay with suggestions, but I don’t believe I have any hope with rules. It has been 6 months and I still do not know what this thing is about.  I am okay with that.

First Evah closeups

closeup3Just wondering if it against the rules to do the Daily Post’s Weekly Photo closeupagainChallenge twice????  I found these and felt a bit of pride. and an obsession to share….

My original close-ups I took the other day.  These new ones I just found on my computer.  Facebook is so good at reminding you of things.

I took these quite a few years ago. So they would be my first evah attempt at a close-up.  Maybe there is a little bit of a photographer in me yet.

I never did find out if the cocoon was related to the caterpillar or not. I just loved the colors of both.

16 year old me, Listen Up!!!!

If you could have a guarantee that one, specific person was reading what you write, who would you want that person to be? Why? What do you want to say to them?

I realize you are 16 and will probably not believe a word I write, but everything you read here is true. You will learn how important honesty becomes to you.  You may not be able to see it now, or in 5 years, or 10 years, or even 20 years, but you can and will be okay. I know this because I am you and I am okay.

You will have struggles.  A lot of struggles.  But you will make it through these times.  I know because I am where you will eventually be.

You will make plans.  Many plans.  Some of these plans of yours will work out well.  Others will not.  You will learn that some of your plans were not right for you.  You will make what you think are the best plans possible only to find a detour that leads to something better. Do not stop planning just because your plans do not work out as planned.

The most important things I have to tell you is this, Never give up trying, Never give up hoping, Never give up learning and Never, Ever lose your sense of humor.  I may be telling you these things, but you know them already.  You just don’t know you know them.  If you didn’t know these things, I would not be here today telling you about them.

You will lose things over the years, only to find better things.  I wish I could be more specific, but I need to leave you with some surprises.  Speaking of surprises, your life will be full of them.  Some will make you laugh some will make you cry. Some will make you say, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  They will all make you who I am today.

Lessons.  My goodness, lessons.  You will have so many of them.  You may have to learn some things over and over again until you get them right.  Sometimes you will even say to yourself. “How many times does this have to happen before I get it right?”  That will be your clue that you got it right and can move on to the next lesson.

I don’t want to get into a discussion over good versus bad, but I must warn you.  Great things will happen to you only to find out how not so great they really are.  Along with that, be prepared for some not so great things to happen.  I will tell you this much, some of those not so great things turn into the best things ever.  Again, I wish I could be more specific, but if I tell you too much, you might avoid some of those painful things that make me who I am today.

You won’t believe me now, but someday you are really going to like who you have become.  You will be happy with who you are, but not so completely happy that you stop striving for more.

It is not going to be an easy road, but you will do okay. One thing that never changes is your uniqueness.  You are and always will be considered unique. Some may see it as being a bit off, but being a bit off is what makes people love you.

There are so many things I want to tell you not to do, but I won’t.  I can’t. That might change who I am today.  One thing I will tell you is this, when you quit smoking the first time, don’t start again.  The me of today would greatly appreciate it. Actually I take that back. If you don’t start again then I don’t get to quit again. I learned so much quitting that second time.

One last thing, something you should do more often is listen to your gut.  The more practice you get at going with your gut, the more you will learn to trust it.  This will come in very handy when you hit my age.  By the way, it has been 30 years as I write this, so listen up. I know what I am talking about.

Hope you chuckle too !

Intricate

Intricate: what does it mean to you?

DSC00217

First Day of Mixin’

DSC00228DSC00230Although the “experts” call it Llama Manure Tea.  or Llama Bean Tea,

I prefer to say Llama Poop Soup.

Some say 3 – 4 days, some say that manyDSC00225 weeks.

All I know is my house plants and lilacs will be in Heaven soon!!!!