Day 20 – I treasure Awareness, and Family, and dogs, and the ability to pee by myself, etc.

I might or might not know what happened.confused-on-the-computer

I may have accidently hit publish when I 1st started writing this story way back when. That may explain why it says it was published on January 20th, when I published today. It became my First post???? Not my last of writing 101.

With a lot of work I was able to get it to fit with the last assignment.  All I know is that I finished it today. and published it today.

life as seen by me

Day Twenty: The Things We Treasure Today’s Prompt: Tell us the story of your most-prized possession. Today’s twist: We extolled the virtues of brevity back on day five, but now, let’s jump to the other side of the spectrum and turn to longform writing. Let’s celebrate the drawn-out, slowly cooked, wide-shot narrative. Good luck to all who read the whole thing and I promise never to write this much again!!!! 4189 words

It all started innocently enough.  I first noticed I couldn’t feel my fingers. As things progressed and I told my story over and over again I realized it actually started weeks before.

I couldn’t feel the cigarette smoke go into my lungs.  I remember telling Jax, “I can’t suck. I suck at sucking.”  I was also eating a lot of Tootsie rolls.  Every time I generated some Tootsie roll flavored saliva I would cough, sputter, choke almost.  I blamed these…

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who or what will inspire me next?

I was taking a day off from writing.  I was gonna do nothing, but maybe read a bit.  Yah Right.  I read a friend’s blog post.  I left a reply to that friend.  This is my reply.

Sorry I do not have any questions about the hospital, but do need to know more about the chair room.  I have never heard of such a thing(It’s been 2 years since I was last in hospital).

Who pays for it? If the insurance pays, how is it billed to them? Who originally thought this “room” was a good idea? Is it just the hospital you went to that has it or are there many similar ones across the country? Could you have left if you chose to? I’m sure if I thought longer I could come up with many more questions, but right now I just have 1 left. Well It is more of a statement.

There is something seriously wrong with the mental health system in this country if you spent 2 days in a chair because there was no bed available to you.  I’m not saying they need more beds, I am saying they need to figure out a way to need less beds. Obviously something is not working somewhere. And don’t look to other countries for answers.  Their systems are different but just as messed up. I think they need to listen to us.  The ones who need the beds.

I was taking a day off from writing and look at me go. Thank you Lily. I just might have to go back to my blog and vent about this.  Oh look I already did vent 😀

I hope you have as good a day as you are capable of having.

I kind of have the feeling this is not going to be the end of me talking about “the chair room” and just think I wanted to get drunk and forget today was even happening.

Take that depressive brain!!!!  I beat you today!!!!

Reach for the Mother Fin' sky

Reach for the Mother F in sky !!!!


Day 15 – Union versus Adminstration

“Day Fifteen: Your Voice Will Find You

Today’s Prompt: Think about an event you’ve attended and loved. Imagine you’re told it will be cancelled forever or taken over by an evil corporate force. Today’s twist: While writing this post, focus again on your own voice.

“OMG this wicked sounds like me.  It was so hard to misspell so many words, but it was the only way my voice would be heard.  I had no idear where to staht with this assignment, but I ended up having a lot of fun with it.”

I can’t believe this is happinin’. I can’t believe they are doin’ what they are doin’. It has been the same way forevah. Well, 50 years forevah anyway.

Workers in the other union, the powahs that be, and those not in a union want to change everything. “Make 1 big pahty for the whole institution,” they annonncd. WTF!!!! This pahty has always been R pahty. R time. R time to let loose. R time to not care. R time to not worry what others think. What moron from r local union let this happen? We are a union, don’t we get a vote?

R pahty was always the best. It had everyone from the facility undah grade 16 in attendance. That meant direct care, therapists, LPN’s, cooks, you name it. Everyone who had daily client contact, except the RN’s. The RN’s had their own union, so we snuck the ones we liked into r party.

R  Pahty!!!! I cannot stress this enough. It was Ow-wer pahty. We were always smaht about planning it. It always took place at the same hotel. That way we could drink and drink and drink and not worry about gettin’ home. We just had to find the elevatah and we were in.

I will never forget the year my future husband attended the pahty, but nevah really attended the pahty.  He hadn’t planned on going, so he nevah bought a ticket. He was scheduled to work that night. He did not end up doing that.  Instead, he got a hotel room and spent the whole pahty time in it. He had more food in that room than I had at the pahty. I don’t remember how many people we had in the room that night, but it was a lot. At one point I swear we had more people in his room than the pahty had downstairs. This would not have worked if this was 1 big facility pahty. Oh no! It would have been wicked different. Sex in the hotel bathroom would not have been an option.

People will act different at a total facility pahty. Knowing the person at the next table could be watching and has the powah to make your life miserable does not make for a good time. This was always R time to let loose. We all had a very stressful work environment. We needed this pahty. We needed something that was just Rrrr’s.

I can’t believe the administraters convinced r so called leaders to allow every employee from work to come this year. They say it is so the whole place can feel like they are one. Well I say, Screw That!  Someone, somewhere, must be getting something for this to happen. Maybe Joe is getting a secret extra week of sick time. Maybe Sue is being blackmailed into allowing this. I don’t believe a single word being said. I’m sure money is involved somehow. It always is. I bet the admins offah to foot the bill for the whole pahty was a deciding facter.

At work we are one. Not that administration can see that. They see me as a peon. They think they are above me. That is all they see. But if it wasn’t for this peon and others like me, this facility would fail miserably. At work we need to work as a team. Outside of work we do not need to pahty as one. This pahty would relieve us of a years’ worth of stress in one night. Now the pahty itself is going to add stress. How can I discuss big ole Admin Barbara’s antics, with a member I haven’t seen in a year, if I don’t know if the man next to me is her husband or not?

This changes so much. Obviously the powahs that be, on r end were not thinking. I bet the administraters got jealous. Jealous because they heard the rumahs, they heard the talk. They heard how much fun we had. They want to be paht of R fun. They take rrrr’s away when they become a paht of it.  .

I’d like to go this year’s pahty just to see. Just to see how many regulars really go. Just thinkin’ that has set my mind in motion. I say we plan 2 pahties. The one the administration is planning for us and the one we plan for rselves. There just might be time. I think I can organize it well enough. I know I can get a few people from the oth-ah buildings to keep quiet about it. Hmmmm???? Now that I think about it, they just might have the wrong people in chahge around heyah.

to write with readers in mind

Hmmmmmmmm.  Where does one begin?

I want to reach other human beings so I guess my subject options are pretty wide open.  I told a friend what my assignment was and she suggested I write with her in mind.  I thought that was a darn good idea.  Her name is Base and she is a nurse.  That made me think about nurses I have met and interacted with.  Nurses are people too is the first thing to come to this kooky brain when I think of the word.

I once worked with a lot of nurses.  It was a hospital like setting.  An institution really.  We depended on the nurses for quite a bit. The nurses were IT in this setting.  They were the people to go to whenever there was a problem. During the day we had doctors and administration, but when they left, the nurses were in charge. Funny though I think the nurses were in charge even before those people left.  We just didn’t let anyone know that.  When in doubt, ask the nurse seemed to be the rule.

Recently I had a lot of exposure to nurses in a different type of setting.  I participated in treatments for depression that needed to be done in a hospital atmosphere.  The nurses here had less power, but just as much if not more responsibility as the ones I had worked with.  I noticed that they worked together to get everything done. I do not think they would have been able to complete all of their tasks had they not been a team. I also noticed they weren’t just nurses, they were secretaries as well.  Everything is on computer today and every time I went there, the nurses would have to check the computer to make sure everything was kosher.  Sometimes the computers worked, sometimes they did not.   It did not matter if the computer was not working, they still had the same jobs to do.  Again, the nurses worked together to get it all done.  About an hour after I got there, the doctors would start showing up.  The nurses have already been working for well over an hour and Lord everything better be ready for the doctors. It would not have mattered if the computers were malfunctioning or 3 patients took extra time or a patient was screaming about anything, Everything best be done when those doctors arrived.  I don’t think I ever saw my Doctor acknowledge a single nurse unless they said something first.  I do not think he was aware of all that they had done to prepare me for him.  He did not seem to care to know.

Well I cared.  Each week I saw all they had to do and I noticed  how little they got thanked for it.  They weren’t just nurses doing a job, they were human beings caring for other human beings.  They were people taking care of people. And I will be honest, some of those people could be difficult to care for.  Yes they did their job, and they did it well.  They dealt with the computers, started IV’s, took vital signs, etc.  They also got me an extra warm blanket when I was cold,  they remembered that when I was ready I liked the lights dim, they calmed me down when I was so anxious I was ready to rip the IV out of my hand.  When the Doctor got there, he could see I was medically ready for my procedure, but he was clueless as to what that actually entailed.

I had my last treatment a week ago.  I went to this appointment with one thing in mind. To thank the people I interacted with all this time, and to show them they were appreciated.  They made a difference in my life and I thought they should know that.  Each time I went there, they helped me in so many ways that they did not realize.   I wanted them to be aware of all that they did for just one patient, so I wrote it all down in the form of a letter.  I wanted them to see that even the tiniest, simplest thing they did for me made a difference and did not go unnoticed.  They helped me remain calm, they helped me laugh, they made me feel comfortable, they made me believe that everything would be okay.  I felt I had to do this not because I thought they were treated badly, they were treated with indifference.   I wanted these nurses to know how very important they really were to me.

They may not be told it every day, or week, or month for that matter, but they deserve to hear that they make a difference. If they remembered that the last time I had an IV, I did not like “the spray”, that meant a lot. If they listened to me long enough to know to ask, “Is Jax with you or your Mom?” that meant a lot. If they talked and joked with me enough to figure out we were neighbors that meant a lot. If they rushed me out of one room and to “the room” just to get me away from the perfume stench that meant a lot.  I appreciate each and every one of them. Not everyone takes the time to let them know how important they are, but they should. Nurses efforts do not go unnoticed.  I can see how being a nurse, they have to put up with a lot.  They are dealing with sick, hurting, irritable people.   They deserve our thanks not our frustrations. .  They deserve our appreciation not our vomit.

So I was suppose to write keeping my readers in mind.   I guess today my readers are nurses, doctors, and any human being who has ever been a patient.  My goal remains to make people laugh so I know the nurses won’t say it and I can answer with a borrowed song.