Today’s assignment: write a post that builds on one of the comments you left yesterday. Don’t forget to link to the other blog!
I am finding much humor as I learn. I am finding this humor in things I read and in the knowledge that I am a lot dumber than I ever imagined. Yesterdays assignment was to leave comments on 4 blogs I have never left comments on before. I thought, “How easy is this going to be?” Haha, Not so easy. I did not remember where I left my comments and therefore had to begin today with searching for them. I did manage to find 3 out of the 4 comments.
Yesterday, I first had to find the blogs I wanted to comment on. I thought this would be the simple part as I have a lot to say about a lot of things. I probably read half a dozen blogs before I found one I wanted to comment on. I can’t just comment. No! that would be too painless. I have to really relate to what I have read. My comment needs to mean something to me. The blog needs to “touch” me in some way.
I started with looking up blogs that pertained to anxiety. I couldn’t really find anything that I wanted to comment on, so I moved onto depression. Nothing really clicked with me so I went to OCD. Wham!!!! I found so many blogs I wanted to comment on. I should have started with OCD because when I first read the assignment I thought “4, comment 4 times? I can do this as 4 is my magical number.”
This is the comment I left that I chose to expand on, and where I left it. You mean the DSM was written about me My assignment today (blogging101) was to leave comments on 4 blogs I have never commented on before. You are #2. I picked you because much of what I have read here I can relate to. The only major difference so far is our opinion on the colors of your gym. Purple and yellow are my favorite. We can learn from our differences and I am all about learning. I will definitely be back to read more of what you have to say.
When I think of OCD, I do not think of myself and my thoughts and behaviors. I think of Monk and his life altering obsessions, compulsions, and phobias. My compulsions and obsessions are so unlike Monk. OCD is just part of who I am. Something I have been learning to live with my whole life. I always knew something wasn’t quite right. I have spent forever hiding my compulsions and adapting to my thoughts and behaviors. Yesterday after reading many blogs about others OCD, I realized how very unique OCD can be to each person. The one thing I did identify with was public bathrooms. I despise public bathrooms. I don’t have a germ phobia like so many others, I just truly hate public bathrooms. It is the touching. I hate touching things that are not my own. I must say the Walmart near me is pretty awesome. I had to use their bathroom in an emergency once. I was greatly impressed. I did not have to touch a single thing in that bathroom. Well I did have to touch the toilet paper but in my mind, that was okay. It would be flushed to never never land. Never to be seen again. The toilet flushed on its own, the water at the sink turned on when I put my hands under the faucet, it shut off when I was done, and I could easily dry my hands. I touched nothing. Okay, discussing my bathroom habits is not where I expected this post to go. But Walmart’s bathroom is my OCD heaven. If a bathroom could be described as heavenly Walmart’s would be it.
I think the point I was trying to make is that everyone’s obsessions and compulsions can be exclusive to them. I loved watching Monk. He had it bad. Very bad. Watching him helped me feel better about my own obsessions and compulsions. Although mine did greatly interfere with my life, for the most part I was able to manage it. I grew up with it. It was “normal” to me. I don’t even like the idea of calling it a disorder. OCD-like thoughts and behaviors works much better for me. There have been times in my life where these thoughts and behaviors have been out of control. A few years ago I had had absolutely enough. I was already in treatment for depression, but felt I needed more. I knew depression was not my only issue. If I truly wanted to be okay, I would have to address this OCD-like crap as well. l found that the more the depression lifted, the more anxious and obsessive I became. I consulted a psychiatrist to see if he could offer any help. I went well prepared. I brought my therapist with me and I had my thoughts, behaviors, and compulsions written out so I would be unable to forget a thing. I ended up with medication and a behavior modification plan.
I am always learning new things about my obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors. I swear the less depressed I become the more I am able to see me. Recently, my psychiatrist decreased my meds that may or may not have been helping with the OCD. I quickly learned how important the meds really were to me. I originally thought that they helped me better manage the thoughts and behaviors. Little did I know but they actually lessened the thoughts and therefore the behaviors abated. I found this out after the decrease in meds. I went batshitcrazy. I was completely out of my mind. I had chronic, obsessive, meddlesome, sometimes disturbing thoughts at all times. It was most bothersome while in the car. I did have tools to help me combat these thoughts, but none that I could use while driving. Being the good mental patient I so strive to be, I actually developed a tool that works in the car. A favorite Journey song came on the radio. Although it was cold and snowy, I opened my sunroof, cranked the radio up real loud, and was able to distract myself from the disturbing, intrusive thoughts. They turned into less disturbing, less intrusive, more joyful thoughts.
I have spent much of my life controlled by OCD. It constantly interfered with my life. Well today Life interfered with IT. I learned that writing about OCD can trigger OCD in me. I had stuff to do today. Stuff that I refused to allow OCD from affecting. So I walked away from writing this post. I got in my SUV, opened the sunroof, and cranked the radio. It did not distract me as well as it has in the past as I was missing the snow and the cold, but it helped enough that I was able to get my life stuff done. I was then able to return to this post and obsess over it some more. I mean finish it.