Pure? Not So Pure.

My very first thought when i saw this weeks challenge was water.  Water is pure. I even have pictures I have already taken of water. Easy challenge this week. or so I thought. Unfortunately my pictures involved rain water and Rain Water is not so pure any more.

WaterPure

Over Flowing Gutter

 

watering tomatoescrop

Now that is just where you belong

watering tomatoes

Watering the tomatoes????

Could that Big Black Beast on the Left possibly be 1 reason my water & air aren’t so pure anymore?

So, getting back to Pure.  My next thought involved babies.  Can’t get much purer than Babies.  Hmmm.  I probably shouldn’t go up to a complete stranger to ask if I could take pictures of their kid.  I love meeting new people, but that would be a bit Too weird. For all of us. So, Stranger’s Babies are not an option.  Then I remembered, My cousin and her wife just had a lil one. I can find pictures of her.  But, they would not have been taken by me and it would be rather rude to steal them.

Welcome to the big bad world Reese. No need to ever worry.  Your Moms will always keep you safe.  Not to mention your humongous extended family has no issue with kicking some butt for you now and again.

Pure? Babies? Babies. Duh!!!! Babies!!!!  I know where to find tons of them. After all It is baby season at The Farm.  New ones being born every day.

NutMegandMom

Introducing Spice and her brand new baby NutMeg

NutMeg and Spice are Nubian goats.  NutMeg was born a few hours before this picture was taken.  Today even.  The Mom might not be so pure, but her daughter certainly is. Nubians are highly Intelligent animals, but can have a stubborness about them.  Very simlilar to my last three dogs. I had to get SnoopE and the Beagle Bros in here somewhere.

So, PURE

not so PURE

used to be PURE

might always be PURE ????

Oh and here is another Not so pureBut, a heck of a lot of FUN to be around.

DebRumi

 

 

 

 

 

I totally forgot again

I have managed to find someone other than myself to blame for my inability to get my weekly feature published on time.

My husband is to blame.  He has had an extra day off each week this summer which totally messes up what day I think it is.  Therefore it is his fault I cannot write about obsessive thoughts on Obsessive Thought Thursday. I do not know when Thursday is.

So glad we got that squared away from the beginning.  I continue to challenge OCD in some way every day. The more I challenge it, the more I reinforce the fact that it is okay to do something once. The more times I eat three skittlesimage at a time instead of four or 2 cookies instead of four, and nothing bad happens, the more I believe nothing bad will happen.  The more times I successfully challenge this disorder, the stronger I feel. And No, not every challenge is a successful one. Twice recently while in a store, I had an incredible increase in anxiety which was directly related to an opportunity to challenge the OCD.  I felt it in my body, just like my new Therapist wants me to.  I can hear him now, “What does it feel like?”     “Easy, It feels like I am going to puke.”

We have been experiencing a lot of ‘firsts’ the last few weeks and I am happy to note that in no way could I make them into fourths. It was stuff like the 1st time you peel and cut up potatoes without saving some pieces for the beagle. The 1st time you forget your water when leaving the house and realize you can go back in without disturbing the dog. There is no dog. The first time you cook and realize there is no dog to step over no matter where you move.  The first time you sit in your dog’s favorite spot on the loveseat and realize just howMattNoMoreFirstsWords comfortable it really is.  The first time you have sirloin tips for supper and realize there is no one to share the juice with. The 1st time your husband leaves when the dog would normally ‘think’ he shouldn’t and you both realize he doesn’t have to sneak out of the house anymore. The 2nd time you sit in your dog’s spot on the loveseat, only this time you recline back, totally enjoying how comfortable you truly are and think, “that little shit has had the best spot in the house for 15 years, and I can see the TV better from over here.” Done with firsts for now.

Okay, O.T.T., obsessive thoughts, Thursday, No its Sunday, Obsessiveness, you started this Saturday…. Lately, I have found myself obsessing over depression.  I have been obsessing over being aware that the depression may or may not be trying to get back in control of my head. I am obsessing over doing everything I can possibly do to stop the depression from taking over my brain. I am thinking this might not be a bad obsession.

Because I am constantly on the look out for signs that depression may be returning, I see the signs rather quickly. I see them before they can get a hold on me.  I can then do what I need to do to prevent it from getting worse.

For example, I have been neglecting my blog.  I enjoy my blog, I have fun with my blog.  The more I neglect my blog, the less joy and fun I have and the easier it is for depression to strengthen itself inside me.  There is more room for it to grow.

Sometimes depression tries to sneak up on me in other ways.DepressionStronger  It likes it when I feel irritable and get snippy with my partner.  I know this, I am aware of this, I can apologize for this and not do it again. Depression hates it when I do this, it loses power. One thing depression loves is alcohol.  If I have to do something that makes me extremely anxious it wants to convince me that it will be easier to do with a drink. It will be better with a  drink.  To someone with a history of depression, alcohol is just FFD (Fuel For Depression). Depression lies. It lies to me all the time. You don’t need to eat today. You will only get fatter.  Eat tomorrow. Depression wants to be that gut wrenching, motivation sucking, all-consuming monster it has been in the past.  And if that means lying to me, that means lying to me.

Today is different though.  I have had time away from that major, debilitating, dark depression. I like to think I have used that time wisely.  I have been able to work on ‘other stuff’.  I have learned how to get through some incredibly anxiety provoking situations unscathed.  I have learned and am still learning that unpleasant feelings just are. Everyone has them.feelingsEmotions  If I feel them and let them be, they will change or leave altogether. The more I fight unpleasant feelings, the stronger they become. Which opens the door for depression.  I need to allow myself to feel stuff like fear, or sadness, or even anger. That way when I feel things like joy, peace, and happiness, I will enjoy them that much more.

I do not know where I am going with this story and I barely know where I’ve been, so my suggestion to Myself is to end it here.

THE END

Wasn’t sure what to do with “Day Six: Connect & Tags”

Then I went outside to take a short break from comforting my very old beagle.  I found this.

horizontal

horizontal

My husband connected the deck chair to the trash barrel.  then connected that to the laundry basket. Added a rake, creating a beagle blockade.  All in the attempt to prevent the beagle from trying to go in the yard and crawl under the deck.

vertical

vertical

Okay, Like…. am I serious????

So, like, this whole post started because of The Intricate Flash Photo.DSC00273

I just checked on my Llama poop soup today.

I have been stirring it every day.

Yesterday I dug in.

Today I took my plastic, less than a pound, Folgers coffee container, and got me some Llama tea.

DSC00277

Do I not look Happy????

My house plants were prepared to love it

Hubby says he couldn’t smell Llama poop when he got home, but what does he know, he works with Llamas every day ?

Thank goodness I sleep with a CPAP machine.  The mask and air hid the Llama poop soup stink I knew was emanating from my house plants.

Okay, So today arrives.  After sweeping the house and Cindy Loppering the driveway (I can explain that if you really want to know). I got to the Llama poo.DSC00274

The first 2 lilacs asked for little poop soup or mud as it now closely resembles.  The 2nd two wanted lots.  So each original plant and some sprouts got 2 coffee containers full of Llama Bean Tea (Llama poop Soup).

I did not care anymore about cleanliness.  I dug right in and fed my Lilacs.

TWICE !!!!

I need to add that there are 4 Lilac bushes, and that many people do laugh when I am being totally serious.

Your laughter makes me laugh.  and on and on and on….

i smell it out here too

i smell it out here too

I almost forgot for all you Beagle lovers out there.  I swear 10 minutes after I fed my house plants some Llama Bean Tea, my beagle woke up from a sound sleep. He took a few sniffs of the air and moved himself to the loveseat.

Day 20 – I treasure Awareness, and Family, and dogs, and the ability to pee by myself, etc.

I might or might not know what happened.confused-on-the-computer

I may have accidently hit publish when I 1st started writing this story way back when. That may explain why it says it was published on January 20th, when I published today. It became my First post???? Not my last of writing 101.

With a lot of work I was able to get it to fit with the last assignment.  All I know is that I finished it today. and published it today.

life as seen by me

Day Twenty: The Things We Treasure Today’s Prompt: Tell us the story of your most-prized possession. Today’s twist: We extolled the virtues of brevity back on day five, but now, let’s jump to the other side of the spectrum and turn to longform writing. Let’s celebrate the drawn-out, slowly cooked, wide-shot narrative. Good luck to all who read the whole thing and I promise never to write this much again!!!! 4189 words

It all started innocently enough.  I first noticed I couldn’t feel my fingers. As things progressed and I told my story over and over again I realized it actually started weeks before.

I couldn’t feel the cigarette smoke go into my lungs.  I remember telling Jax, “I can’t suck. I suck at sucking.”  I was also eating a lot of Tootsie rolls.  Every time I generated some Tootsie roll flavored saliva I would cough, sputter, choke almost.  I blamed these…

View original post 3,854 more words

Day 19 – You are all in trouble Now

Day Nineteen: Don’t Stop the Rockin’

Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go. Bonus points if you tackle an idea you’ve been playing with but think is too silly to post about.

I guess I will start at the beginning.  Rumi.  He has been coming up in my life a lot recently.  I should figure out who the heck he is first, then figure out what he has to say.  I do like this quote….

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”Rumi

This one is pretty good as well….

“Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”Rumi

For someone who lived in the 13th century a lot of his stuff makes sense today. Especially the wine one.

Okay enough of that crap.  I am not looking for extra credit by tackling something I have been working on that is “too silly” Everything about me is silly in one way or another.  I have been working on a couple of things that I hope to finish one day.  I’ve been working so hard on Writing101 that I have been neglecting my Blog. LMAO!!!! or at least what I thought was going to be my blog.

I have a few unfinished master pieces.  I think I may have my first installment of an angel series I want to try out.  Writing about angels was not part of the plan when I started this blog.  Life happens and things change.

Cool 250 words.  Almost done LOL

Relationships are not one of my areas of expertise, yet I wicked want to write about them.  I have experimented with writing about online relationship a bit, but I want to write about other relationships as well.  Mother/daughter and husband and wife come to mind.  Relationships with my beagle could be entertaining.  But if you have never owned a beagle, you might not understand.  Even after I explain it.

83 more words and I am done.  I know that because in 4th grade I was taught about reciprocals. I bet they don’t even teach that math method today.  I remember every day we would get the same quiz.  Get a 100% on the quiz and no more quizzes.  You got early recess instead.  I had trouble getting that 100%.  Did I mention it was timed? I knew my reciprocals I just didn’t  them fast enough.  Until one day my teacher watched me.  I would go down one column, up the next, down again, and up the last.  The teacher suggested I go only down.  Top to Bottom. Wouldn’t you know it the next time I took the quiz I got 100%.  You’d think I would have learned the life lesson of “taking suggestions” back then.  NOPE took me another 35 years for that lesson to sink in.

Uh Oh 461 words.  I know it said “at least” 400 words.  I have no problem with that.  I need help knowing when I am done. That 461 which is now 492 can easily morph into 1004.  I wicked like the word “Morph” right now.  I seem to be getting a lot of use out of it.  516 is a pretty good number too.  But now that I said that the count has gone higher.  See that it just went up again.

THE END (568)

569 since I edited it on July 4th 2015 ________Take that OCD!!!!

DAMN 579 Now…ummmm 580 +2

HaHa it worked. Damn 586

Day 17 what do you fear?

Day Seventeen: Your Personality on the Page. Today’s Prompt: We all have anxieties, worries, and fears. What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears. Today’s Twist: Write this post in a style distinct from your own

.

haha No commas!!!!  I have been afraid of so many things for so long it is hard to pick just one.  But I will. I fear losing My Home

.

Right now.  I have My Home.

It is me.  My partner.  My beagle.

I have had other similar homes.  Some included my partner and beagle.

Others did not.

This is My Home.  I am content here.  It is peaceful.

Life can be hard.  I do it anyway.

It is quiet here.  I can hear me.  I can hear you.  I can hear my partner.

I do not always understand him.  I know this.  I listen anyway.

I can hear my beagle.

Today.

He has less to say.  He still talks.

I listen to it all and to nothing.  I hear the quiet.  The noise is gone.

I fear the noise will return.

I am vigilant.

I could easily lose my home if the noise returns.

My goal.

Listen.

Do not let the noise get loud.

A different Kind of O.T.T.

wickedcoolNow i’m having more ideas about my feature.  The quick original answer to the assignment in blogging 101 was vent once a week.  Then it went to Random Obsessive Thought Tuesday.  Which morphed into Obsessive Thought Thursday (O.T.T.). Now I have a new idea. How My Mind Works Wednesday? Yup I think that is what I am going to end up with.  At least until I come up with the next wicked cool idea. 

suggest to WordPress a possible change in blogging 101 assignment Day Fifteen: Create a New Posting Feature. Mention the feature assignment in the beginning days of the class, but do not make it an assignment until the end.  people have more time to think about it.

Unless they planned on me changing my feature every 7-14 days???? 🙂

Today is a special day.  It was Christmas in my house this week and we all got toys. I got a new camera.  I was playing with that and PicMonkey.  This is what happened to my living room when I put those 2 things together.OTTbeagleversion1

  1. baby gate in screen door. It will not stop a beagle who smells a critter but it makes us feel better
  2. dog bed with matching LL Bean dog blanket (the blanket came from beagle Nanny. ) 🙂
  3. pillow that beagle just can’t seem to let stay on the loveseat
  4. former ottoman cushion that is now the beagles first step to the loveseat. The rest of the ottoman is being used in the bedroom so he has steps to his other bed.
  5. former ottoman being used as 2nd beagle step.  Please note this is a reclining loveseat.  It does not need ottoman.
  6. phone in case beagle gets a call while sleeping
  7. prince Mattie the beagle
  8. very old, destuffed toy. I think it was a lamb.
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Beagle Breakfast in Bed