introducing William

I rarely question my assignment. Today I was given the job I’ve been preparing for. Everything is ready, T’s have been dotted, I’s crossed, and assignments handed out. I am to hang with an 8-year-old boy named Tim.  Anna, Tim’s sister just came back over a few days ago. She only had 12 years on Earth this time, but she did her job quicker and better than most. I spent some time with her when she first arrived back home. She will be at or above my own level. She did well on Earth. She gets to rest for as long as she desires then it is off to work she goes.  I love how she calls me Will instead of William. I believe this is going to be a beautiful, powerful friendship.

Most don’t take much time off. Some choose to retire, but no one lasts long at that. There are so many people who need our help. Speaking of help I should go down to Tim, my newest assignment.  With Anna leaving him for a bit, I have (my) work to do.

Anna made me laugh the first time I met her. She told me she has already been testing her family. She was able to assign her brother, Tim to the Angels’ baseball team. Anna’s Mom noticed that right away, and that night Anna sent Tim a dream. Tim recalled this vivid dream and shared it with his Mom. They were able to smile together. I guess Anna is declining her opportunity to have a break. Only the best do that.

Anna might have chosen the body of a child this time, but she is such a strong old soul, full of wisdom. I am going to be proud to have her as my newest companion. With this family I got assigned to way back when, Anna’s insight will be invaluable.  That’s not to say with all my preparation and dedication I can’t hold my own, just that more help reaches further.

Catherine and Emily. For the longest time I thought I had them.  When I left my body, they truly believed in me and my power. I proved it to them using that JH dude. Twice!Over the years they have stumbled a bit. I think Emily might be on her way back to believing I am there. It’s taken some time, but she is starting to see the signs I’ve been sending her. I was pretty subtle for a while, then the Senior dude visited. The Senior dude told me to hit her with a biggie. Not too big though.“She needs to WAKE UP!!!!” She recovered nicely from that sign and now I believe I have her back.

Jax and Catherine. Well they are going to take more time. They will be open to me soon though. As long as I have the whole team playing, rookies included. They will hear us. As long as she stays open, They are gonna have to listen to Emily. Since Anna and I teamed up,  It is almost as if Emily forgot to lock her door.  I am also proud of how outspoken she has become.  She has found her voice. This family is very special to me. They have so much work they still need to do. I sometimes wish we could get things done all by ourselves. But then again, it wouldn’t be right or much fun for any of us.

“It amazes me the racket the Senior Man has going on in relation to tHis family. He’s got me working with Anna in Sue’s house, while Clarence is in Canada convincing Hollow to motivate Emily to try on her appropriate funeral attire. Meanwhile Gabriel is in Pennsylvania, reminding Base, to remind Emily about us.” PHEW!!!! Busy, Busy, and Busy.

I’ve been waiting all day for Emily to ask for me to come with her tonight. The Senior Man wants us all there tonight. Everyone!!!! This Anna must be pretty special to him to bring out all stops like he is. I can’t wait to work with her more.

A message arrives, “Well would you look at that? Emily is asking for my help. This is way cool, she hasn’t asked for my help in a long time. I love it when they ask me to visit. I love them so much. Helping them is so much more fun when they know I am around. I know I am doing my job right when they feel me near. They do still have that free will crap the Big Ole One gave them. It is sometimes tough to work around.”

This story was supposed to be about Tim. Everything happens for a reason they say. The Senior Dude wants me to hang out with Tim all day. Or, for as long as he needs me. I must say, I have enjoyed my brief hiatus. Given the choice though, I’d much rather be working and spending time with the ones I was given. They can be so much fun. I feel like I’ve been on vacation forever.

Back in the saddle again as some might say. “I’m just gonna say thanks for the work Senior Man. I am so looking forward to your newest assignment.”

Enough documenting, it is time to visit Tim. I love working with kids. I have always loved them. They are so much more open to my suggestions than the older ones. This should be a fun day for me. Anna’s got her hands full with her Mom, Dad, and sisters. She will appreciate the time I spend with Tim.

“All I know is that this assignment involves the color purple. They never tell me more than I need to know. I just go with it and it all will be well. Plus, in time, when I find everything out, it will be breathtaking. Can breathtaking be a feeling?  If it can, then it is.”

Advertisements

3rd Leibster award nomination

I have again been nominated for an award.  I do not usually accept awards because I can not follow the rules that come along with them. I do like this award in particular because I love answering the questions that come with it. The questions become part of my “about me” category.

I was nominated by Suzanne(FindingHerVoice)

Eleven Questions For You:

1. What ultimately got you motivated to get started and how long have you been blogging? I have been blogging since February 2015.  My archives say January, but that was a minor mistake on my part.  My therapist encouraged me to write because she thought writing would help me see things clearer. She also thought that the way I was able to express my thoughts and feelings via writing might be beneficial to others.  I met a woman on a web site who had a blog. lily pups life – bipolar and recovery. She encouraged me to try one myself.  I did and here we are.

2. Do you prefer to write best in the morning or at the end of the day?  I guess I  prefer the morning.  I like it when it is quiet and no one is home but me.  I like to sit down with my iced coffee and just write. Kind of like what I am doing right now.  Thank you for helping me write today Suzanne.

3. Do you give like that it’s somewhat anonymous or do you give your blog URL the friends or family? Such a simple question that is going to get a most difficult answer.  I like that my blog is somewhat anonymous.  My husband has the key, and one very old friend. I let one friend in because I hadn’t seen her in 30 years and thought it would be an easy way for her to see what I have been doing.  No one else in my real life knows where my blog is. Although if they truly wanted to, it would not be hard to find. I have shared a few stories with a few other relatives, but am not ready to say “hey here it is!!!! Read it all!!!!  My Mom and I discussed giving her access, and we both agreed it would be better if she didn’t have it.  Some things she would prefer not to know.  When I write something I think she may enjoy, I print it out for her.

4. Did you keep a journal as a child/teen? I did keep journals when younger.  I probably still have each and every one of them stored somewhere.  Journals were different from blogging for me.  Journals were for me and me alone. I shared them with no one.  I do not know what I would have done had blogging been an option when I was younger.

5. Are you an emotional writer? Do you write more for your heart or your head? I like to think I do a little of both.  I definitely start by writing from the heart, but then my head always seems to get involved somehow. I have tried doing it the other way around, start with my head, but it just doesn’t seem to work out as well. I think my heart is a better motivator than my head.

6. Do you have more blog posts that you have begun (in draft mode) or that you have completed)?  I am going to guess and say that the number of published posts and drafts are about even.  I have one particular draft that is full of random thoughts and ideas.  I sometimes take these ideas and turn them into published posts.

7. If you could/did write a bestselling book what would it be about? I did not have to think about this question for very long.  Angels!!!!  I would love to write about angels and how I believe they have touched my life and others. Since I started this blog, I have written a bit about angels, but only published one so far. The hardest thing Evah would be my brief introduction to writing about angels. Also, I mention angels in a couple of my Relationship posts.

8. What is the best feedback you’ve received on a blog post?  All feedback I get is important to me.  I have 2 bests though.  1 would be acknowledgment that something I wrote made a difference in someone’s life.  Especially if that meant making them laugh. The other is constructive criticism.  I asked for it once so I could improve my writing. I got it and it helped me see how I could make my writing better.

9. Where do you get your ideas for your blog posts? I get my ideas from my daily life. For example, I was cutting down tree saplings in my yard and had to go to the store.  It turned into a post called Has the Future been written already ????

This must have been a good day as you can see the crab rangoons on the left

This must have been a good day as you can see the crab rangoons on the left

10. What is your favourite food? This is an easy question to answer and it comes with a picture. Buffalo chicken tenders with Jojo’s.  If we have extra cash, we will get either onion rings or very special crab rangoons on the side.  The crab rangoons are very special because I will only eat them from this particular restaurant. They are 128% better than anything you might find in a Chinese restaurant.

11. What is the best advice you can give your fellow bloggers about how to get new subscribers? The best advice I have is the only advice I have.  Engage with other bloggers.  If someone likes a post of yours, visit them and see what they have written.  If you like what you find let them know that.  Even if you think their blog is just not for you, at least let them know you were there. The feeling I get when someone acknowledges something I have published is a darn good one.  I like knowing I might be able to help others feel the same way. 

Whoa.  I am done already.  That went quicker than I thought.  It took a while, but it did not feel like awhile.  Thank you again Suzanne for the nomination.  Maybe if I can ever figure out how to follow rules, I will start accepting awards.  For now, I will just have to go back and answer the question I missed.liebster-award

I missed O.T.T. again

I have done it again.  Or not done it depending on how you look at it.  I have been 100% distracted by life this past week or so. I thought about writing my Feature yesterday, but chose to lay down on my couch and rest instead. I have even neglected Photot101 as well.  I hope to catch up with that this weekend.

What has me so distracted that I am neglecting my blog, You ask?  I have been taking notes for a future story I may or may not write.  That story might be about euthanasia.  I only have notes so far, so i do not know where the story will lead me.  I have experienced euthanasia 3 times.  The first time I barely remember.  The second time upset me. It is the third time I may write about.  The third time was so very different from the first two.

So this is all you get for my Fridays version of Obsessive Thought Thursday. I am so very sorry I could not get you to laugh today.

This picture was originally published in Serenity Found Me, but it works so well for todays post.

solitude and peace Goodnight Sweet Prince.  I know longer have to worry about you.

solitude and peace
Goodnight Sweet Prince. I no longer have to worry about you.

day4 – Bliss and captions

Bliss: complete happiness, great joy, paradise, or heaven.

I got nothing right now, I will sleep on it.

This sign was a sign that I needed to take a picture of it.

image

FLASHBACK to 30 years ago. 1985 was suppose to be my year.

 

No one said the bliss I found today would be my own.  Congratulations Emily, whomever you may be. 

If I took pictures of my Bliss, you would be looking at more pictures of my yard. Oh look, another picture of my yard. Unusual how I chose to drive to get this picture of my “yard”.

my property line.  looks like someone has been trespassing :)

the brook is my property line. looks like someone has been trespassing 🙂

Day 20 – I treasure Awareness, and Family, and dogs, and the ability to pee by myself, etc.

I might or might not know what happened.confused-on-the-computer

I may have accidently hit publish when I 1st started writing this story way back when. That may explain why it says it was published on January 20th, when I published today. It became my First post???? Not my last of writing 101.

With a lot of work I was able to get it to fit with the last assignment.  All I know is that I finished it today. and published it today.

life as seen by me

Day Twenty: The Things We Treasure Today’s Prompt: Tell us the story of your most-prized possession. Today’s twist: We extolled the virtues of brevity back on day five, but now, let’s jump to the other side of the spectrum and turn to longform writing. Let’s celebrate the drawn-out, slowly cooked, wide-shot narrative. Good luck to all who read the whole thing and I promise never to write this much again!!!! 4189 words

It all started innocently enough.  I first noticed I couldn’t feel my fingers. As things progressed and I told my story over and over again I realized it actually started weeks before.

I couldn’t feel the cigarette smoke go into my lungs.  I remember telling Jax, “I can’t suck. I suck at sucking.”  I was also eating a lot of Tootsie rolls.  Every time I generated some Tootsie roll flavored saliva I would cough, sputter, choke almost.  I blamed these…

View original post 3,854 more words

Internet Relations (Part deux)

internetfriends4I’m back and so is the story of MrAl. My first real online friend. One day I sent him an email. The reply I got was horrifying to say the least. It was from his wife. His wife didn’t know that much about the Net and emails and web sites. I remember her telling me she contacted her daughter and said, “Get on that thing, find someone, and tell them.” They found me. MrAl had died and his wife had no way of telling all the people he had built relationships with via the Net. Although he had met very few of them IRL, he ‘knew them’ and they ‘knew him’.

When his wife was finally able to contact me, it became my job to contact everyone else. I had only met his wife twice, but knew in my heart I needed to do this for her. She had no other way of letting people know he was gone. I like to think I did my job well. Some people I emailed, some I phoned, and some had to read it on a message board. I took my job one step further. I copied everything everyone wrote in response to Al’s death. Although many of the people did not know Al IRL, they were connected. They loved and cared for him. They had so many heartwarming things to say. His wife needed to know about these people and how much her husband had meant to them. My Mom and I went to Al’s funeral. I handed his family every great thing that was written about him. I hope on some level, they took some comfort in those words.

Today, people on the Net know so little and so much about me at the same time. They know what I think and feel, but do not know my name. They know what makes me laugh, but not where I live. They know I am female, but not what I look like. I know the same about them. I know that Base lives in either NC or SC, but I do not know her husband’s name. I know that Moogs is sober and married with a kid on the way, but I do not know what he does for a living. ((((Hollow)))) is younger than Base and I, is half a twin, and lives in Oh Canada         But,

Do I really know these things about them???? Baseline could be from NY and have homicidal tendencies. Moogs could be a show girl in Las Vegas. Hollow? Well, ((((Hollow)))) says she is from Oh Canada. I know so much yet so little about them. But, when I woke up extra early today and wanted someone to talk with, there were people there. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 3651/4 days a year. It may be 3 a.m. in my neck of the woods, but in Australia it is daytime. People are awake and ready for me.

One thing that is very different between real life and Internet relationships. The conversation you are having with an internet friend can all of a sudden end. When your Net connection stops for some reason, so does your conversation. This can be good and this can be bad. Great conversations have abruptly ended for me as have conversations I wanted to end but didn’t know how.  I guess I could accidently disconnect.

Back to my original online friendships. Starwindsinger. Starwindsinger was the name of the woman who slept over my mountain home with her son. I was feeling bad that I could not remember her name. My Mom always told me, if you can’t remember a name, go through each letter of the alphabet. The letters you hesitate on are the ones that will begin their name. I kept hearing “S” and “J” in my brain. Then Starswinger floated  around for a while. I finally landed/settled on Starwindsinger. Then the “J” started up again. By the time I got home, I knew her name was Jackie. Jackie Starwindsinger. I feel better remembering her name. I mean,” shoot, her kid and her had a sleepover at someone’s house they never met before.” I should at least remember her name.

I thought I was going to talk more about my present day online relationships in this post, but then I recalled having a second set of friends I originally met via the Net. I had just moved from the city to the mountains and knew no one. I had also been diagnosed with ADD. I put it together and found online support in my area for adults with ADD. We had a few people in the group and we met in public places.  I do not recall ever being weary of meeting them in person. Today I am weary with every little bit of information I share on the Net.  The Net and the people of the Net have definitely changed over the years, but I have changed as well.  I wonder what has changed the most????

Stay tuned for part three.  I did not know there was going to be a part 3.

Three points of view, one writer?

Today’s Prompt: A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene. Today’s twist: write the scene from three different points of view: from the perspective of the man, then the woman, and finally the old woman.

A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. I can’t believe that little gray haired ole lady is knitting a red sweater.  Of all the things I could come across. The same sweater my Snoopy was wearing when he got hit by the snow plow during that freak storm. The white stripes make it identical. It has been a year to the day since Snoopy’s trip to the Rainbow Bridge. It can only be a sign from Snoopy. He is still with me. I had him 20 years. Deep down, I knew he would never leave me. I knew he would always come through for me. Why else in this heat would a little ole lady be knitting a red dog sweater.

A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. I can’t believe seeing that little old lady is making Tim cry.  She must remind him of his Nanny who is dead at least 20 years now.  This man cries over everything.  Movies, stubbing his toe, animal cruelty, roadkill, and so on.  You’d think that a man so easily brought to tears would be more sensitive to my feelings. He’s never available when I am angry, or irritable, or agitated.  He’s never there for me when I have my spells either.  Why did we meet? Why am I with him?  Money cannot be the only reason? Can it?

A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Oh Lordy, Lord!  I cannot believe it? Not these two again! The woman bickering all the time. The man always with the red, puffy eyes. I so hope these two are not married. and Kids, Oh Lord, please help their kids. I try so hard to avoid these two, yet they are always here. I come in the morning. They are here walking.  I wait until the afternoon. They are here walking. It’s too cool to come here in the evenings. I might be willing to try the evenings if I see them here again. If I didn’t know better I would swear they were stalking me. Sometimes they get here before me though.  Those are the days I see their car and tell the driver not to stop. “Keep on going.” I say. “Bring me to the library instead.”

The hardest thing Evah

I do believe I just finished doing the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

My Cousin’s son’s funeral. He was 12. He was sick his whole shortened life. He was so strong in spirit. Always strong in spirit. He will always remain strong in spirit.angelwings3

This is not me and the Dad I speak of in this story. I met that Dad later

This is not me and the Dad I speak of in this story. I met that Dad later

I did not want to do this. I tried to talk myself out of it numerous times. I had plenty of real good reasons not to go. I had two friends who stood with me and motivated me. They would have come with me if they weren’t hundreds of miles away. My husband called three times to make sure I was doing okay. I realized I had a choice; I could try to do this alone, all by myself, Or, I could ask my Dad in spirit to come with me. I chose the latter. I figured since a child was involved, he would be more than happy to drop whatever he was doing and help me out.

All I had to do was be open to him. What I did was still not easy to do, but it was doable when I felt my Dad was with me!!!!

My Aunt received my first hug of the night. She was with me in the funeral line when I heard and saw her begin to sob. I didn’t even think that I stunk of coffee and cigarettes. I grabbed her and gave her a big ole tight bear hug. I felt her hands on my back. I believe in clown language that patting the back means the hug is over. I wish I remembered what rubbing the back meant. In an up and down motion, not circular.  My Aunt then approached the deceased child’s body without me. Some how she moved forward toward my wicked spiritual Aunt. Who knows? Maybe she needed me for the hug and her sister for more strength than I had to offer. My next thought was maybe she moved up because I reeked of cigarettes and coffee?

angel-back-drawing

Got Your Back!!!!

I gave real tight hugs today. The best kind. I didn‘t want to let this family go. My Aunt and Uncle got 2 hugs each. I got chuckles from all the male gender in the family, smiles from the 2 daughters, and tears from the 2 Moms of the group. A solid family. I had no intention of making anyone laugh or smile. There was Nothing to say to this family. I let my heart speak. My family is strong. This was a very short life we lost. We are strong. The child was strong. He will be stronger now. We will always celebrate this young man’s life and spirit. His spirit lives on and we know it.

The first opportunity I had, I left. I did whatever it was I was supposed to do and I left.

I got the 3rd degree from the beagle when I got home. He was mad at first.  Apparently he spent the last half hour baying at the empty driveway. He followed me around the angel-drawingshouse until I realized why. I smelled. I did not smell like another dog, but I did have a distinct smell. All those tight hugs, of course I smelled different. Even a paltry difference no beagle can pass up. I squatted down and let him sniff away.  Funny!!!! I did not know I could still squat.

Show and Don’t Tell

Wrong-Way-Sign-K-7426I entered the park the wrong way. The Wrong Way sign was spun around backwards. With my luck, the cops are watching. Cops, I chuckle. It is not prime commuter traffic time so, they are probably at the station, drinking coffee, or giving a lecture at the one school in town.

There was one car in the lot when I got here. I don’t see the driver. Probably a walker. Where to plant myself? I need to sit. Benches in the playground???? Nah, Don’t need to be around kids right now. Not that there are many this time of day. Yup, there is the missing driver. I was correct, she is a walker. Tough to see her being so far from me. The next thing I observe is the breeze as I suck it into my congested lungs. Fresh cool wind. Best breathing I have done in a month.

Up ahead, there are benches around the gazebo that would put me in the sun. The sun is way too bright to use the laptop. I did bring a paper and pen just in case, but that just isn’t fun. So, top floor of the gazebo is the goal. I must be cautious as I climb dry, cracked stairs to get there. Of course they creak with each step I take. I do not need to fall through.

Ah, sitting. laptop out. turned on. and loading. Meanwhile I whip out paper and pen and start scribbling.

Wind is brisker than expected. I chose a Teddy Bruschi shirt today. bruschisignedYou know the expensive game jersey one with the tiny holes in it. Air is blowing right through it to what waits beneath. The flags are old and torn. Yet you would not pay attention from far away. They not only make a flapping noise, you can hear the ropes sing as they clang against the poles. One of them anyway. Their own distinct brand of music

Wow it is chilly. Definitely should not have worn the holey shirt. Of course you also chose the heavy Red Sox sweat shirt that doesn’t zip up. I am sure there are plaques commemorating someone or something on this gazeebo. I don’t care. I want to write and get out of here. Look!!! The benches down below have names. Louis and Jim. They must have done something for this town at some point. I’ll have to look them up.

Damn it’s cold!!! What happened to spring? I am so not prepared for this.

The No Dogs Allowed sign announced the park entrance. Walking area at Mount Jefferson. DogParkrulesI guess the dog walking this way didn’t read the sign. Or like me, he does not know where Mount Jefferson is. He is a medium size, jet black dog. The sun gleams on his coat. I say he because I see he is peeing like a boy. Everywhere. As boys will do.

As I settle down in my spot, another car arrives . My Heartburn appears to be returning. Probably shouldn’t be drinking more coffee. You know how you get when you drink too much coffee. Maybe it will be different this time. Wicked funny, hilarious, life of the party you are!

I think I may be convinced that I need a smart phone. Husband has been mentioning it for months. Trying to play with this computer in the gazeebo is back breaking work. And yes, my ass and thighs are cold. The laptop has a cushion. I do not. One car left while I was writing. I did not see the walker pass by again. Even on a main road it is quiet and peaceful. Not as silent as home with the flag music playing.  Peaceful none the less. The other car that pulled in looks like grandparents and a kid. After playing for a bit, the male walked by me twice. He walked by, turned around, then walked back. Remember it isn’t paranoia if it’s real.

Back to the dog. He is exploring at will. I hope he picks up after himself. I wonder if this town has animal control. If they did it would be to control the beavers not the dogs. My neighbors’ last name is Keith. They named their basset/beagle mix Toby. Took me awhile to notice that one. I am cold. This computer is funky and now I am getting paranoid. I could use a cigarette. It is probably illegal to smoke in all this clean, refreshing wind. Despite the frigid spring air, I am enjoying myself. I haven’t been outside this long in a bit. That walk from the town clerk to the post office yesterday was tough, but good preparation for today. Little walking will be done this morning. Today I type and write with pen on scrap paper. Ha ha, another truck went in the Do Not Enter way. Hope they fix that sign before soccer and baseball starts. Maybe sooner with the skate park and generous swing sets they have here. I should have chosen a spot in the sun. The damn dog looks a lot warmer than I am. The end.

Damn another car pulled in. This time a woman with a baby carriage. Probably another walker. Nice day to walk, not so nice to sit on a cold gazeebo floor. I wonder if this doubles as a bandstand. Kind of small for one of those. It does get a Christmas tree in winter though.

The woman with the baby never even looked at me. Yes, I looked at her just to see if she would look. She was either very distracted by her new baby or was uncomfortable finding you, the stranger. Yes, you do tend to look strange at times. Although I must say in my defense, when I do get dressed, I do so with a goal in mind. That goal is comfort.  Today I wore big black jeans, with a belt this time. Black biker type boots, the Red Sox and Patriots gear previously described, my favorite Outback hat and the hippy glasses. Who would be comfortable encountering me in a deserted park? Maybe I do look strange? She should have at least done the head bob thing with me.

I drove out of the park noticing the other way in also had a Wrong Way sign. How the heck do you get in this park? I also noticed the sky. I was distracted by all the sights, senses, and sounds of the park. I never looked way up high. The sky is blue blue, not just blue.  Not a single cloud can be found. I bet its warmer back home. More trees, less wind. Well in 2 minutes I will be there so it is time to stop complaining.

I never even got the chance to talk about the rock in my pocket. Another day, another story.

Me? Brief? wicked funny !!!!

Day Five: Be Brief

Today’s Prompt: You stumble upon a random letter on the path. You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.

Today’s twist: Approach this post in as few words as possible.cliffside_view_by_phaedris-d47qc2q

As walked my regular route along the seaside cliff, I noticed something that did belong. It was tucked underneath the big rock up ahead. I could just make out the corner of what appeared to be a piece of yellow construction paper.  Being the ever curious bloke I tend to be I had to take a look.  Moving the rock took all my effort, but I did it.

I wondered how on earth did this paper end up here?  When I opened it up and saw the purple writing I knew.  It had just one word on it.  GOOD-BYE

A million questions rose in my mind when reading that one word. Did someone use my sacred place to end their life? Who could have put it here?  Where are they now? Do I dare even look over the cliff? Do I put the note back and keep walking? What could be that horrible to make someone end their life? I wonder who the note was for?  No one ever comes here but me. Is it real or someone’s idea of a sick joke? I chuckled as I thought, If I still believed in communication from the after life, I might think it was a message from the other side. Again I go back to who? If I had a phone I could call the police.  They probably wouldn’t be interested anyway.  I put the note in my pocket and kept walking. Still with so many thoughts, questions, and feelings.

The next day the body of an older adult male washed up on shore.