as blogging101 ends for some, it continues for me.

I am still obsessively working on blogging 101 assignments.  I am working on the last week day assignment as I simultaneously try the weekend ones.. Hmmmmmmmm a blogging feature that my followers could look forward to each week/month???? I need something simpler than venting. Proper Venting sometimes requires Time.  Obsessive Thought Tuesday would take no time.

Random Obsessive Thought Tuesday.  It would fit with my blogs goal of making people smile and helping me vent.  Some of my thoughts are a bit on the unusual side and writing them down has always helped me get rid of them.  Sometimes action is required to lessen these thoughts.

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Don’t get too close to the Brook, It is closer than you think!!!!

Yesterdays thoughts remained in my brain for 2 days.  We took action today and went down to the brook to take some pictures and relieve me of the following thoughts.

“I so need a camera.  The Brook looks so pretty today I wish I knew where the camera was.  Do I even own a camera? Damn I am gonna have to ask Jax when he gets home to use his phone.  Yup we will have to use his phone.  That is what we will have to do. The Brook looks so pretty today.”

Seeing as though it is not Tuesday and it is an extra special day for me, I am going to make you suffer with today’s obsessive song as well.  It is Ed Sheeran’s, Thinking Out Loud  I can’t make songs a weekly feature as I usually obsess over them for much longer than a week. Take a minute or 2 and listen, it really is a great song. I only obsess over the great ones. 

So what do you think of how I did do with the last assignment of Blogging 101?  Do I deserve the A+ I expected?

Great, now that this Obsessive, Brook picture taking thought is going to go away I already have a new obsessive thought. What do I call Tuesday?  Random and obsessive or just obsessive?  I’ll let you know on Tuesday.

Create a Feature/mental health or bad day?‏

My first thought when I saw todays Blogging101 assignment was “Nope, not going to do it.”  The assignment was to develop a regular feature for your blog. I still don’t know what my blog is going to be about, how do I come up with a regular feature? I instantly saw the point to creating a regular feature your followers could look forward to, but I had no idea what mine could be.  So instead of trying to do the assignment, I decided to sit down and just write. Little did I know, but as I wrote I realized I was coming up with my very own feature.  I do not do many things well, but one thing I do execute well is venting about life.  So, maybe once a week, or every other week, or every month I will vent about life in an appropriate way. Not only will this fit nicely with the goal I sort of have for this blog, but it will mean I completed todays assignment as well.

I was trying to describe how I felt.  I do not like the expression “It is just a bad day”, but if I did use that expression, yesterday would have been the day. Nothing unusual happened to make it a bad day. It just didn’t feel like a good one.

The day started by my waking up rather early.  6:40 a.m. to be exact.  Hubby was still home and getting ready for his day.  Although waking too early might be the start of a bad day for some folk, it was actually the start of what I thought would be a good day for me.  I got a kiss goodbye from hubby.  I never get them as I am usually still asleep when he leaves for work.  So waking up too early was a not such a bad start to the day. Getting an extra kiss from the one that I love changed that around for me.

The day went on like any other day.  I took care of my daily living type of stuff (coffee, tooth brushing, dressing, etc.). I even remembered to eat and take my fish oil.  I am always forgetting to eat. Therefore forgetting the supplements that go with it.  My beagle was good.  Resting comfortably, and waking only when he needed to pee or eat.  Such a great beagle he is.

A very long time ago I made the decision to limit my caffeine intake.  I don’t remember why I did this, I just know that I drink 2 glasses of iced coffee every morning then switch to water.  Today having woken much earlier than usual, I had ample time to drink more.  And drink more I did . This was a mistake.

I had only 1 real responsibility this day and that was my therapy appointment.  The rest of the days obligations were regular every day ones. Nothing too special.  Today felt different.  My thoughts were racing and obsessive.  I had so much I wanted to do and I wanted to do it all RIGHT NOW!!!!  Feeling like this is not unusual for me.  It is actually pretty normal. I haven’t felt like this in a few weeks or more.  I haven’t felt like this since the Doctor put my OCD medication back up to where it never should have left.

On the drive to therapy, I did one of my new favorite things.  I turned on my heated leather seat, opened the sunroof, and cranked the radio.  I do this to distract myself from any meddlesome, unrelenting thoughts I may be having.  And Oh Boy, today I was having them. None of my newest favorite songs came on the radio, but an older one did.  I found myself singing along to City Of Angels by…. haha it is not City of Angels although those songs and movie are nice.  It was Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers. I am a horrible singer, one of the worst, but when you are in your car alone, it does not matter if you can sing or not.  You just sing!!!!  The singing, cold air, and loud music helped.  It did its job. The bothersome thoughts went away long enough for me to figure out what it was I was actually feeling.  I was feeling “CROOKED”.  It was the only way I could think to describe what it was I felt.  I did not know what crooked meant, but that was okay.  I was on my way to therapy.  The perfect place to figure everything out.

I ended up learning one thing in therapy this day. It was a lesson I have learned so many times before.  Remember earlier when I mentioned my 2 glasses of iced coffee.  In therapy I became aware AGAIN of why I limited it to 2.  Any more than that and I become wired.  Totally out of control. Manic even. Racing, continuous, intrusive thoughts.  The cool thing is that years ago, before I “woke up” from my latest bout of depression, feeling like this would have been horrifying to me.  I would have thought, “Oh my Goddess? What the heck is wrong with me?  Do I need a medication change, more therapy, possible hospital Timeout? This is never going to change.  No one can help me. I will always feel this way.”

Not Today!!!!  Today I used skills I have gained.  Some skills have been taught to me by parents, friends, teachers, television, strangers on the street, etc., while others I figured out on my own.  Today I used the experience of distracting myself from the obsessive, chronic, never ending thoughts that I was able to figure out that I am okay!!!!  I took a step back and looked at what was really going on with me. I simply drank too much coffee. The let down I will eventually feel after the coffee wears off will go away.  I will not become overwhelmingly sucked into the deep depths of depression like I have in the past. I will not become all consumed with these incessant, perpetual thoughts.  I will be OKAY!!!!

If I experience a bad day, maybe it is just that, simply A Bad Day.  I just have to do what I can to make sure that 1 bad day does not turn into 2.  Today I can do that by 1) only having 2 glasses of iced coffee 2) using the know-how I have gathered from living life and 3) by venting about my bad day.  One of the very first things I learned in blogging 101 was what a text widget was and how to use it.  I wrote “I love to laugh and I love to vent. I use both of these things when dealing with life. I guess, maybe I will try to put laughter and venting together and see what happens.”  I do believe I did well with the venting part today, not too sure about the humor though.  What do you think?

Try (Another) Blogging Event

Day 13 and I find myself writing again.  Since I started blogging 101 I have not written anything I had planned to write.  Taking this class has changed me.  Todays assignment only proves that more.  The event I picked was The Best of Me: an ode to the past.  I am not sure what exactly I am suppose to do for this “event” but I am just going to do it.  I seem to be saying “Just Do It” a lot lately.Just Do It I feel like an advertisement for Nike.

I picked this event because even though I just started my blogging adventure, I already want to write about where I have been. Last month is the past so I guess I do actually technically qualify for this event. It all started with the first blog I ever read.  This woman and her writing helped inspire me to write my own life crap down.  At the same time my therapist suggested that writing might help me figure some stuff out.  I didn’t want to “just write”, I wanted TO WRITE!!!!

I have always, well not always, but on a fairly regular basis written things down.  I have journals, notebooks, and slips of paper scattered throughout my house.  Now I have a place for all my new stuff.  I have a place to do something with my writing. I am still not sure what my ultimate goal is with this blog, but right now if asked I would say, “I want to educate about life using humor to do it.”  The first thing I published on this blog was an About Me.  I wonder if my goal in that is the same as today.  I highly doubt it.  I don’t even recall having a goal when I wrote that. I just wrote.

Enter Blogging 101.  The first assignment was pretty easy.  An Introduction of some sort.  I cheated by simply answering the questions asked in the assignment. This is where I first learned that blogging was not just about writing. This is where I was first asked to come up with a goal?  I was asked who I wanted my audience to be? What topics I might cover? What do you hope to accomplish?  It has been less than a month and I feel like I have come a very long way.

I think what I really want this post to be about is Blogging 101.  I want to talk about how I am learning so much more than I anticipated.  Yes I am learning how to use this WordPress blog system.  I kind of expected and hoped that would be part of it.  I am learning about links, widgets, titles, and taglines, etc. I am also learning about community, inspiration, prompts, and now events.

Some things have not changed in the past month.  I still want to connect with other human beings.  All, but 1 of my followers are human, but all are welcome here. I still want to use humor whenever I can.  If I make someone smirk, smile, or laugh I will  be happy.alien3 If someone learns something by reading what I write, that is okay too.  A while back I was asked what my job was?  My answer was “retired, but looking for something fun to do.”  I think I found my something fun.

Today I will try using a very simple, yet so difficult life skill.  I will keep it simple and end my post here.

a post based on my own, personalized take on a blogging prompt.

Take this (terrible) prompt: Two plus two equals four: yes or no?

I do not think that is such a terrible prompt.  I believe I could easily write at least 832 words about the number 4.  Remember, 4 is one of my magical numbers.  But I will leave that OCD story for another day. Todays prompt is Places Beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely?

My first thought when I read this was wow, I have lived in, or near, or on all these places. I can write about this. I grew up in a neighborhood that was cleaved out of a forest. One day it was dense forest.  A few weeks later it was a large neighborhood full of brand new houses.  I am guessing on the time frame as I was 1 and have no recollection of this time.  All I know is as a I grew I absolutely loved trees. The woods were my adventure land.  There were old train tracks that went through these woods that left the perfect trail that led to downtown. Walking to town via this trail was so much more fun than using a simple road.  I remember crab apple fights with other neighborhood kids. Top of the hill versus kids from the bottom of the hill.  Even in a tiny town environment, where you lived was very important. It was one neighborhood yet we were still somewhat divided. I lived in the middle of the hill so I got to choose my place in the neighborhood. Although I chose the top, if I think about who I would call if I just needed someone to talk to who would just listen, that would be my friend who lived at the bottom. We couldn’t be best friends growing up as she lived at the bottom of the hill, but when I think about who was the one person who stood by me during all my turbulent times, it would be her.  We haven’t spoken in a very long time as we are separated by distance and the fact that she refuses to use Facebook and I hate the phone.  The last time we talked, she didn’t even have to tell me why she was calling, I just knew.  That is the kind of friendship we have.  I bet if I called her right now, we would pick up exactly where we left off.  Maybe I will go look for my address book.

I have written around 380 words and I haven’t even touched upon beach or mountain.  So beach.  Beach was a vacation spot.  Beach was a day trip.  Although we lived in the middle of the state and were far from an ocean, we had so many choices. There was Hampton Beach if you wanted a very lively, active place to spend some time.  Rhode Island offered killer waves that my Nana taught us to love.  Then there was the Cape.  The Cape is the Cape to any who have ever truly loved it.  It is Cape Cod to the rest of the world.  When I grew up, I moved to the big city.  There was an ocean a few miles away.  But one night when I absolutely needed the beach and the ocean, I drove 3 hours to the Cape.  It wasn’t until I was on my way home the same night that I realized I could have easily driven a few miles to the beach.  It would not have been the same.  I was also in the middle of another bout of depression and wasn’t thinking my best.

When my Dad passed away, we decided to make a move.  We decided to leave the city and move closer to my Mom.  A lot of odd things were happening in our life and it all made this move possible.  We ended up buying a log cabin on the side of a mountain.  The first things we bought after our first night there were nightlights.  Boy does it ever get dark when there are only stars, no street lights .  Stars are so much better than streetlights.  Our dogs were in beagle heaven.  The neighbors didn’t call the cops when the boys acted like beagles.  There were no neighbors.  The toughest thing about living here was that the mountain was very hard on car brakes.  Anything and everything you need is at the bottom of the hill.

We have now settled in the forest by a brook.  The beagles can still be beagles here.  If we need the mountain, it is a twenty minute drive.  If we need the beach we go visit my sister.  This is the only house that does not flood and is the only house where flood insurance is mandatory.  One thing I have noticed about forests today is that I can’t find any climbable trees.  Growing up I lived in the trees.   Now that I think about it, maybe the trees are still climbable.  Maybe because I am seeing the world through the eyes of a somewhat older woman, I can’t see them like a kid can?

So there you have my latest blogging 101 assignment.  I used a prompt to vent about life. In what I hope was a somewhat humorous way.  I am so getting an A in this class.

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A Different Kind Of Coming Out Story

This post all started because todays assignment was to make a better blogroll. I was visiting a friends blog to look at her blogroll.  Her blog led me to another blog which inspired me to write this post.  I was so inspired that I decided to do yesterdays homework over again.  See that, I used links back to their blogs. I am so learning from blogging101!  If I did everything right, those links should go to lily pups life, Lesbian Like Me, and yesterdays homework Get Inspired by the neighbors. 

Mine is called a different kind of coming out story because I have never heard of another like it.  I guess you could say I kinds “Came Out Twice”.

I guess the best place to start would be at the beginning.  I had my 1st long-term boyfriend in the 6th grade.  I don’t know how old you are then, but it was too young to engage in more than a kiss. I remember that first kiss.  I remember thinking how soft his lips were, almost like what I imagined a girls to be like.  The following year, I recall that we did engage in what I guess could be described as heavy petting. I was okay during it as we were experimenting just like we were suppose to.  When he left I did not even want to kiss him.  I felt that uncomfortable.  We broke up.

High School came a long and I spent the whole time boyfriendless. I just wasn’t interested. One night I decided I was going to lose my virginity. So that is what I did.  I was out with classmates and we were drinking.  I looked at one of them and said. “I am going to have sex with you Tonight.”  Imagine being a 17 year old boy and have an 18 year old girl telling you this.  I probably don’t have to tell you, but he said yes.

When I was around 19, enter new friends Bill and Karen . Roger and Kate. Bill was older and had a crush on me, Karen was younger and I ended up sleeping with her one day.  Just like that. This was my 1st experience with a woman, it was not Karen’s. To Me, It seemed to be the most natural thing in the world.  The next day I felt different.  All day at work I was paranoid that everyone knew I had slept with a woman.  It is all I could think about.  I never saw Karen again until maybe 15 years later, but that shall be a whole story.

When I was 20 I relocated to a different part of the state.  I was a simple country girl dropped in the middle of Sin City. No one knew me there.  I was in a somewhat serious relationship with a man at the time, but when I moved we lost touch. Everything was changing so fast for me, light dawning everywhere. I figured what the heck. why not live my life as a lesbian  The coming out process was fairly easy for me.  It involved telling my Mom, sister, and the only friend I had left.  My mom responded with, “I always thought that, I just didn’t want to mention it.” My sister said “I always knew that, I just didn’t want to say anything.” And my best friend confessed that she too was a lesbian and in love with her best friend.  See, Did I lie? I said it was fairly easy

Through the years I dated, was single, dated some more, had my heart broken, and was single again.  I went to all the Pride Parades, went back to college with Women’s Studies as my 1st course, and even took the RedEye to DC for The March On Washingtonmarchonwashington I still have my necklace marchonwashington2                            Enter Jax.

I mentioned this name before in this Blogging101assignment.  The very first thing this man ever heard me say was “who the hell is Jax and why does he have my job?”  There was downsizing going on, we had to sign up for new jobs and Jax took the one I wanted. He approached, pointed to another, and commented  “if you took that one we would be working together.”  I figured what the heck at least I would know someone in the new building.  I worked nights in an institution.  For the most part it remained quiet so the staff had a lot of time to talk and get to know one another. I might go into a ‘not so quiet night sometime, but that might take a book. I made some lifelong friends working those nights.  I eventually found the woman I thought I wanted to be with.  We knew each other as coworkers and tried to expand on that.  Our relationship moved very fast.  Maybe a bit too fast for me.  I found myself at night talking about my relationship to Jax. He in turn talked about his relationship.  We got to be pretty good friends.  One night I was talking to another coworker David about my relationship. He shocked the hell right out of me when he said,

“I do not think you are a lesbian, and I do not think you are straight. I think you are going to fall in love with a human being, a person not a sex.” -David Hoyt

bestfriends

Around this same time I was promoted and switched shifts. The shift change limited my time with my girlfriend.  I had a lot of time alone, to think. This is not always a good thing for me, but this time it may have been.  I thought about my life, my feelings, my relationships, my sexuality.  I was never really good at any of those things and here they all were, all at once, right in front of me.  I just knew I was not in love with my GF.  I was in love with MY FRIEND!!!!  Jax was my friend and somewhere along the way he became more.

 friends with benefits made us laugh four a very long time.

It was harder telling my Mom I was in love with a man than it was to tell her I  was gay. In September, Jax and I will have been married 15 years.  We have had some interesting, trying, joyful times, we have gotten through them all.  Life is a little bit easier when you are on the Journey with Your Friend. your best friend.

Blogging101 has created a monster by teaching me about links, pingbacks, blogrolls, inspiration, and embedding.

Get Inspired By the Neighbors

Today’s assignment: write a post that builds on one of the comments you left yesterday. Don’t forget to link to the other blog!

I am finding much humor as I learn.  I am finding this humor in things I read and in the knowledge that I am a lot dumber than I ever imagined. Yesterdays assignment was to leave comments on 4 blogs I have never left comments on before.  I thought, “How easy is this going to be?” Haha, Not so easy. I did not remember where I left my comments and therefore had to begin today with searching for them. I did manage to find 3 out of the 4 comments.

Yesterday, I first had to find the blogs I wanted to comment on.  I thought this would be the simple part as I have a lot to say about a lot of things.  I probably read half a dozen blogs before I found one I wanted to comment on.  I can’t just comment.  No! that would be too painless.  I have to really relate to what I have read.  My comment needs to mean something to me.  The blog needs to “touch” me in some way.

I started with looking up blogs that pertained to anxiety.  I couldn’t really find anything that I wanted to comment on, so I moved onto depression.  Nothing really clicked with me so I went to OCD.  Wham!!!! I found so many blogs I wanted to comment on.  I should have started with OCD because when I first read the assignment I thought “4, comment 4 times?  I can do this as 4 is my magical number.”

This is the comment I left that I chose to expand on, and where I left it. You mean the DSM was written about me  My assignment today (blogging101) was to leave comments on 4 blogs I have never commented on before. You are #2. I picked you because much of what I have read here I can relate to. The only major difference so far is our opinion on the colors of your gym. Purple and yellow are my favorite. We can learn from our differences and I am all about learning. I will definitely be back to read more of what you have to say.

When I think of OCD, I do not think of myself and my thoughts and behaviors.  I think of Monk and his life altering obsessions, compulsions, and phobias.monk_wallpaper_1280x1024_6  My compulsions and obsessions are so unlike Monk.  OCD is just part of who I am.  Something I have been learning to live with my whole life. I always knew something wasn’t quite right.  I have spent forever hiding my compulsions and adapting to my thoughts and behaviors.  Yesterday after reading many blogs about others OCD, I realized how very unique OCD can be to each person.  The one thing I did identify with was public bathrooms.  I despise public bathrooms.  I don’t have a germ phobia like so many others, I just truly hate public bathrooms. It is the touching.  I hate touching things that are not my own.  I must say the Walmart near me is pretty awesome.  I had to use their bathroom in an emergency once.  I was greatly impressed.  I did not have to touch a single thing in that bathroom.  Well I did have to touch the toilet paper but in my mind, that was okay.  It would be flushed to never never land.  Never to be seen again.  The toilet flushed on its own, the water at the sink turned on when I put my hands under the faucet, it shut off when I was done, and I could easily dry my hands.   I touched nothing.  Okay, discussing my bathroom habits is not where I expected this post to go.  But Walmart’s bathroom is my OCD heaven.  If a bathroom could be described as heavenly Walmart’s would be it.

I think the point I was trying to make is that everyone’s obsessions and compulsions can be exclusive to them.  I loved watching Monk.  He had it bad. Very bad.  Watching him helped me feel better about my own obsessions and compulsions.  Although mine did greatly interfere with my life, for the most part I was able to manage it.  I grew up with it.  It was “normal” to me.  I don’t even like the idea of calling it a disorder.  OCD-like thoughts and behaviors works much better for me.  There have been times in my life where these thoughts and behaviors have been out of control.  A few years ago I had had absolutely enough. I was already in treatment for depression, but felt I needed more.  I knew depression was not my only issue. If I truly wanted to be okay, I would have to address this OCD-like crap as well. l found that the more the depression lifted, the more anxious and obsessive I became. I consulted a psychiatrist to see if he could offer any help.  I went well prepared.  I brought my therapist with me and I had my thoughts, behaviors, and compulsions written out so I would be unable to forget a thing.  I ended up with medication and a behavior modification plan.OCD

I am always learning new things about my obsessive and compulsive thoughts and behaviors.  I swear the less depressed I become the more I am able to see me.  Recently, my psychiatrist decreased my meds that may or may not have been helping with the OCD.   I quickly learned how important the meds really were to me. I originally thought that they helped me better manage the thoughts and behaviors.  Little did I know but they actually lessened the thoughts and therefore the behaviors abated.  I found this out after the decrease in meds.  I went batshitcrazy.  I was completely out of my mind.  I had chronic, obsessive, meddlesome, sometimes disturbing thoughts at all times.  It was most bothersome while in the car. I did have tools to help me combat these thoughts, but none that I could use while driving.  Being the good mental patient I so strive to be, I actually developed a tool that works in the car.  A favorite Journey song came on the radio.  Although it was cold and snowy, I opened my sunroof, cranked the radio up real loud, and was able to distract myself from the disturbing, intrusive thoughts. They turned into less disturbing, less intrusive, more joyful thoughts.

I have spent much of my life controlled by OCD.  It constantly interfered with my life.  Well today Life interfered with IT.  I learned that writing about OCD can trigger OCD in me. I had stuff to do today. Stuff that I refused to allow OCD from affecting.  So I walked away from writing this post.  I got in my SUV, opened the sunroof, and cranked the radio.  It did not distract me as well as it has in the past as I was missing the snow and the cold, but it helped enough that I was able to get my life stuff done.  I was then able to return to this post and obsess over it some more. I mean finish it.  ocd-cycle

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an Irresistible “About” Page

Today’s assignment: create and publish your About page, then either adapt it into a widget on your home page or add it to your menu. funny_quotes_life_3

My original “plan” was to write about a variety of subjects related to life and feel better doing it. Then I came across Blogging 101. So this is what you get today.  Learning is a big part of life so that is what I find myself writing about.  You can never be too old to learn.  You just need a desire.  Now that I think about it, a desire is all you need to accomplish a lot in life.  See, I just learned even more and I wasn’t even trying.

Spring of 2013 I woke up from a long bout of depression.  Since that time, I have become more aware of things. I may have mentioned somewhere that I may have some OCD like traits.  Well some of those traits are showing up while taking this course. The first part of the assignment was create and publish your About page.  I did that last month. I did it before I knew Blogging 101 even existed. I really didn’t want to write another or even tweak the one I had, so what do I do?  I must create and publish! It is part of the assignment.  I must create and publish! It is part of the assignment.  How about I create a blog about the day 6 assignment.  I can write about writing an about me page.  I actually had half this blog written when I realized that was what I was doing.

Okay, where does one begin?  I know. I shall try the beginning.  The very first thing I was able to push publish on was something called  A Bit About Me. I spent a lot of time working on this “about me”.  I wrote and published it long before I knew I would be taking blogging 101.  I wrote a bit, walked away, wrote a bit, walked away, then shared it with hubby and a few Internet friends. I got much feedback from all who got to read the original.  I received a great hug from hubby after he read it.  Internet friends said……..I am honored you shared! You seem so familiar. Like I’ve always known you……..I believe you have a gift with writing……..You did deserve a “wicked” cool hug for this!!!……..I bet it is very therapeutic to write out your story and feelings for others to read…….. I then rewrote it again and added my therapist and “replacement therapist” to the list of people who got to read it.  I got more positive feedback.  Hubby gave me a tighter, longer hug, my Internet friends said…….. I love your pup! He looks like quite the character!!!!        Your honesty and frankness can help others        You have a great writing style        you should find more people who can empathize and learn from your experiences……..I got gutsy and published the “about me”. I think it stayed online for about 2 hours. Then the 2 therapists said……..You are an Interesting woman……..You can definitely reach others with your writing……..your talent with venting might be beneficial to not only you……..They actually read something else I wrote as well which got me to thinking about venting as a valuable tool.  So I published the “about me” again and it stayed. Longer this time. It even got published twice.  Well maybe 3 times, as I have another blog under another title which may not remain as anonymous as this one.  

I should get back to the rest of the assignment which was either adapt it into a widget on your home page or add it to your menu.  I know what a widget is, so I figure I am half way home.  Sometimes I really crack myself up with my child like innocence.  I knew nothing about them.   I was suppose to use a text widget to write a brief description of my about me post and that widget will link back to the post.  Easy I can do that.  It was so easy I had to walk away and come back to it I was making myself so crazy with it.  When I returned I figured it all out.  It was as simple as reading this sentence, “You can also add a link to the full page at the end of your short description with some simple HTML.”  All of my confusion was instantly wiped away.  Well most of it anyway. I did not adapt it into a widget on my home page.  I am not sure I can do that with the theme I have actually been able to keep for 2 days.  But I did adapt it into a widget.  I think I added it to my menu.

links and widgets

this is me learning about links and widgets

So I may or may not have completed the assignment for Day 6.  I did play with my blog and I laughed a few times while doing it. So that is good.  I learned about links and if you click on that funny looking thing in the upper right hand corner, you will see that I did in fact adapt my about me page into a widget. I think. I hope that when I am done with Blogging 101, I will actually know what that means.

to write with readers in mind

Hmmmmmmmm.  Where does one begin?

I want to reach other human beings so I guess my subject options are pretty wide open.  I told a friend what my assignment was and she suggested I write with her in mind.  I thought that was a darn good idea.  Her name is Base and she is a nurse.  That made me think about nurses I have met and interacted with.  Nurses are people too is the first thing to come to this kooky brain when I think of the word.

I once worked with a lot of nurses.  It was a hospital like setting.  An institution really.  We depended on the nurses for quite a bit. The nurses were IT in this setting.  They were the people to go to whenever there was a problem. During the day we had doctors and administration, but when they left, the nurses were in charge. Funny though I think the nurses were in charge even before those people left.  We just didn’t let anyone know that.  When in doubt, ask the nurse seemed to be the rule.

Recently I had a lot of exposure to nurses in a different type of setting.  I participated in treatments for depression that needed to be done in a hospital atmosphere.  The nurses here had less power, but just as much if not more responsibility as the ones I had worked with.  I noticed that they worked together to get everything done. I do not think they would have been able to complete all of their tasks had they not been a team. I also noticed they weren’t just nurses, they were secretaries as well.  Everything is on computer today and every time I went there, the nurses would have to check the computer to make sure everything was kosher.  Sometimes the computers worked, sometimes they did not.   It did not matter if the computer was not working, they still had the same jobs to do.  Again, the nurses worked together to get it all done.  About an hour after I got there, the doctors would start showing up.  The nurses have already been working for well over an hour and Lord everything better be ready for the doctors. It would not have mattered if the computers were malfunctioning or 3 patients took extra time or a patient was screaming about anything, Everything best be done when those doctors arrived.  I don’t think I ever saw my Doctor acknowledge a single nurse unless they said something first.  I do not think he was aware of all that they had done to prepare me for him.  He did not seem to care to know.

Well I cared.  Each week I saw all they had to do and I noticed  how little they got thanked for it.  They weren’t just nurses doing a job, they were human beings caring for other human beings.  They were people taking care of people. And I will be honest, some of those people could be difficult to care for.  Yes they did their job, and they did it well.  They dealt with the computers, started IV’s, took vital signs, etc.  They also got me an extra warm blanket when I was cold,  they remembered that when I was ready I liked the lights dim, they calmed me down when I was so anxious I was ready to rip the IV out of my hand.  When the Doctor got there, he could see I was medically ready for my procedure, but he was clueless as to what that actually entailed.

I had my last treatment a week ago.  I went to this appointment with one thing in mind. To thank the people I interacted with all this time, and to show them they were appreciated.  They made a difference in my life and I thought they should know that.  Each time I went there, they helped me in so many ways that they did not realize.   I wanted them to be aware of all that they did for just one patient, so I wrote it all down in the form of a letter.  I wanted them to see that even the tiniest, simplest thing they did for me made a difference and did not go unnoticed.  They helped me remain calm, they helped me laugh, they made me feel comfortable, they made me believe that everything would be okay.  I felt I had to do this not because I thought they were treated badly, they were treated with indifference.   I wanted these nurses to know how very important they really were to me.

They may not be told it every day, or week, or month for that matter, but they deserve to hear that they make a difference. If they remembered that the last time I had an IV, I did not like “the spray”, that meant a lot. If they listened to me long enough to know to ask, “Is Jax with you or your Mom?” that meant a lot. If they talked and joked with me enough to figure out we were neighbors that meant a lot. If they rushed me out of one room and to “the room” just to get me away from the perfume stench that meant a lot.  I appreciate each and every one of them. Not everyone takes the time to let them know how important they are, but they should. Nurses efforts do not go unnoticed.  I can see how being a nurse, they have to put up with a lot.  They are dealing with sick, hurting, irritable people.   They deserve our thanks not our frustrations. .  They deserve our appreciation not our vomit.

So I was suppose to write keeping my readers in mind.   I guess today my readers are nurses, doctors, and any human being who has ever been a patient.  My goal remains to make people laugh so I know the nurses won’t say it and I can answer with a borrowed song.

Introduction? of some sort

My 1st Blogging 101 assignment. The thought that is running nonstop in my brain right now is “Do I really, truly want to be doing this at this time?”  Well, here goes ????

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?  I like to talk.  I get thoughts in my head that I must write down.  Now that I really think about it, I do not think I have an answer to this Q right now.  I have a lot to say.  I believe people could learn from some of my life experience.  I like to entertain.  Maybe that is why I choose public?      I love to laugh and make others laugh.  Humor has gotten me through some very tough times.  I depend on humor.  It is very important to me.  If something I say makes someone smirk, smile, or laugh, wicked cool.
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?  I know very little about relationships, but would love to write about what I do know?  This winter totally affected my ability to laugh and drive, so I think I might want to write about that?  I have a lot of experience feeling feelings, I might be able to write a bit about that?  Did I mention I was a tad on the kooky side?  I don’t know, that might make a fun topic?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?  Maybe a few members of the human race.  I absolutely do not know.
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?  I have an ongoing goal to make people laugh. If I can do that using this blog, very cool/magnificent/outstanding/astounding/marvelous/phenomenal/terrific/awesome.  I also wouldn’t mind educating a person or two. You never know?

I think I am done writing for now.  I love honesty, so I must be honest.  Starting with a lie just isn’t the opening I was looking for.  I completely forgot about signing up for Blogging 101.  For some very strange reason I have also failed to check my email for almost 2 days.  I am already behind and haven’t even started yet.  So that is it for my starting point  I guess.  Now if I could only push the damn publish button.