Quick O.T.T.

I have to write it down !!!!

I have to write it down !!!!

I have to write it down !!!!

I have to write it down !!!!

Every time I do, say, or think of something related to me being okay, I have to write it down.  I have started carrying paper and pens with me every where I go.  If I write it down, it will get out of my head. Unfortunately then I am onto the next obsessive thought.  Which then needs to be written down.

I am so glad the medication I take for OCD is working.  Can you imagine where I’d be if it wasn’t.  I know where I’d be.  I’d be very upset with the word count of this post.  That is where I’d be. Damnit I had to bring that up didn’t I?  I think 4 more words would lessen the anxiety. 143, I can work with 143.  Add them together and you get 8.  8 is a good number.  Damnit now I have 157.  Add them together and you get 13 which is 4 when added together.  Four is a very good number.  But that leaves me with 179.  I can’t do anything with 179.  I must keep writing words or deleting ones I already have to make an acceptable number.

See, changing Obsessive Thought Thursday to How My Mind Works Wednesday is sounding like a very good idea.  It would be more general than just O.T.T. Less limited than just obsessive thoughts.  I could really let you know how this mind works or doesn’t work.  Then maybe someone out there could help explain things and fix it.

I think the best thing to do right now (so I can end this post) is to challenge the word count.  I have been spending a lot of time challenging the OCD and have survived each and every time.  Maybe it is time to challenge it again so I can hit publish.  Then deal with anxiety I may or may not feel.

Now if I could just get this picture where it belongs all will be right with the world.